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"Be yourself, no matter what they say"

7/4/09 11:59 am - Thoughts about 'Orlando'

I have just finished reading Virginia Woolf's novel Orlando (1928), and I wanted to write down some thoughts and comments from the book. The following might not make any sense to a person who has not read the book, as it probably might not make sense to a person who has read the book, but I shall try my best to explain myself and my thoughts.
 
First of all, I found the book somewhat hard to understand. Partially, I suppose, this was because I felt that I lacked the intellect to understand it properly. This lack of self-esteem when it comes to reading great classics is not a new thing for me - I have experienced a similar thing with almost every "intellectual", philosophical classic text that I have read. Most of the time, I presume, this is due to the fact that I expect a classic linear structure to every text, and am a bit puzzled whenever I read something other than that.
 
Orlando is a text that plays around with the idea of linear structure, as well as realism, fantasy, gender, and most of all, time. Woolf herself called the text "revolutionary in biographic writing", and it documents the life of the protagonist, Orlando, moving on from one event to another in a timely manner. What makes the novel different, however, is that Orlando, who at the end of the novel is thirty-six years old, the novel covers an era from 1588 to 1928, during which time Orlando grows from a young man into a woman approaching middle age.
 
The change of Orlando's gender in the middle of the novel was something I found rather peculiar and strange, but in the end, not all that surprising, as I have always considered Miss Woolf to be a strong feminist enforcing gender equality. Towards the end of the book, in the last chapter if I recall correctly, she writes that a person has many "selves". The change in Orlando's gender can therefore be explained through an argument that both female and male selves are part of Orlando. In fact, this is a huge part of what I thought the main message of the novel was; people have many layers, and you only see one at a time.
 
At first, I was thinking that I would not give the book more than a *** rating, mostly because some of the language used by Miss Woolf I felt was almost too poetic. The meaning of the book would not come to me automatically, but only after a long thinking process. This is surely a matter of my personal liking and taste, but I am a person of my time period, and therefore grew somewhat weary whilst reading the elaborate story of Orlando. In these days it is a sad truth that we would rather have the meaning spoon-fed to us, and therefore the novel probably does not appeal to the public as it perhaps used to. I wish that I would not be part of the mainstream in this sense, but unfortunately, I find myself caught in between these two views. I understand the point of view of the intellectual others, but side with the contemporary morons. Nevertheless, in the same time when I felt overpowered by it, I found myself awe-struck by the powerful imagery and the flowing language Miss Woolf used, and as a result, I felt very inspired by the book.
 
As a conclusion, I could say that the book fascinated me, however in a rather unpleasant manner. I felt that it was a masterpiece, yes, but that the genre perhaps is not for my liking. This brings on a dilemma - should one judge a book by a person's own liking or by the way it serves the purpose set out for it? Orlando surely is a book that has a purpose, but I did not consider it greatly amusing.
 
So, as a book with a purpose the book gets an *****; but as a book judged by my own liking, ***.

12/26/08 09:03 pm - R.I.P. Harold Pinter

Just a quickie post -

I just wanted to share that I was very sad to learn that playwright Harold Pinter has passed away - he was such a talented and witty playwright, one of my absolute favourites.

In one of my theater practicals, for our physical theatre course, we are actually using a section of Pinter's play "One for the Road", and we are going to be performing that in January. I just love the absurdity of the play and of the scene we have picked. Here is a short extract, that we are using for our piece as well:

"What do you think this is? It's my finger. And this is my little finger. This is my big finger, and this is my little finger. I wave my big finger in front of your eyes. Like this. And now I do the same with my little finger. I can also use both... at the same time. Like this. I can do absolutely anything I like. Do you think I'm mad? My mother did (laughs). Do you think waving fingers in front of people's eyes is silly? I can see your point. You're a man of the highest intelligence. But would you take the same view if it was my boot - or my penis?"

R.I.P.

9/4/07 11:42 am - Getting ready to leave...

My "goodbye Finland" -moment is just around the corner. I was dreaming of an elegant farewell -moment involving a white limo and me, dressed in white gloves and a Jackie Kennedy-type classy outfit, it is a wonderful morning, the birds are singing and I am waving at the country with the mandatory Miss U.S.A. wave. Turns out that instead of being perky and excited as I leave, I'm gonna be tired and grumpy, and it's gonna be dark. My parents can't drive me to the airport, so I have to take a bus, and I really, REALLY hate long bus rides. Needless to say, my baby-sleeping-habits can't adapt to the buses (nor planes), and most likely I'll be up all night. Now, no one is having fun when I've been up for 24 hours.
Other thing that keeps bugging me is I can't find my two favourite things. My camera and my favourite shoes. I have no idea where mom (or perhaps me?) has put them, and I'm getting worried. I really, really need to find them. And most of you know how much shoes mean to me... Especially if they're the most unpractical pair ever. ;)

8/5/07 09:52 am - I'm going to Uni!

Just a brief update - I'm leaving for the University of Worcester, England on September 9th. I am doing a joint degree in English Literature and Performance Studies. Yay!

7/7/07 06:21 pm - Summertime!

This summer has been a blast so far. Unlike usually, we've had excellent weather throughout the summer (I am afraid though that these are effects of global warming) and I've been feeling great, especially after I took up cycling again couple weeks ago.

I recently got promoted at work, and now I am doing shifts in which I look after the whole store. But it's not enough, and I am starting to hate working there. Therefore I am keeping my fingers (and toes) crossed that I get into the university. I get to know the results in two weeks, and I am having hard time waiting for it. I want to get to the school so bad!

Also, good news considering acting: our theater group is participating in Tampereen Teatterikesä, which is the largest theater festival in Finland, and we're going to have 2 shows there. After that, 5 more performances in the fall, and then, unfortunately, we're done... :( As ridiculous and naïve etc. as it may sound, I am kind of hoping that those performances on the festival might lead to some other parts as well. But, we'll see about that. It has already been such an amazing experience. The funny thing is, that nothing else seems to interest me. I just want to do this. Everything else is just plan two, three, four or five.

Uhm maybe someday I'll get some order to my mind and stop fantasizing about acting as a profession. It's not very realistic, I know, but I am still an innocent idealist. :)

3/18/07 01:26 pm - My First Movie Role & Paris!

 The highlight of my week: I got to appear in a movie last Thursday. I got an extra part in a 2,1 million € flick, directed & written by Finnish movie elite. The movie is called "Raja 1918" and it is about the Finnish Civil War in 1918. I had a part as a civilian girl, whose village is attacked by the White Army.

In our scene, there were 10 armed horsemen who attacked, a small army defending the city and us civilians, trying to fight the "white conquistadors" with anything we could grab (in my case, a shovel). Three gas bombs were exploded, and it was supposed to be a total chaos. It was so much fun, the soldiers had fake bullets in their guns, and the whole thing was so much fun - running around, supposedly fighting - oh it was a blast. I felt such adrenaline rushes when running around in my costume - five layers of skirts, long trousers underneath and four shirts on top of another. I had mud on my face and no make up, and my hair was tied back tightly. The only thing I was kind of sorry for (well, the girly girly part of me) that for my one movie role, I couldn't be pretty... I had to appear ugly and heavier than what I really am.

On the set, we had to wait a lot. It was unclear whether or not I'd be needed after the first scene, and later it turned out I wasn't. We chatted with the fellow extras and production people, and I even spoke to the leading man (without really realizing it). I made such a fool out of myself, haha. I didn't know he was the lead actor, when I went to ask him silly things like "have you done this extra thing often?" etc. He just laughed at me, and he was really quite cute. Cute - understatement - he was gorgeous and so charismatic. He was almost 2 meters tall, had brown eyes and brown hair, and with that captain uniform... ;)

Other than that my week has been quite the usual. Our Mercedes broke down and now we've only had Fiat to cope with, and my father needed it for work so I had to borrow a friend's car to get to the filming location on Thursday. It was a nice car, a Nissan, and I'm eternally grateful for my co-worker for lending it to me.  She's such a doll.

Also, other big news: Next Friday, I'm leaving for Paris, and am going to stay there for the weekend. Yay! I am paying for all the expenses myself, with money I have earned at the supermarket. I am so excited, especially for being able to see my host sister from America again. It's been almost 3 years since we last saw each other (2,5 to be more accurate, actually), and it's going to be a blast, I'm sure. Paris in the spring, what can be better than that... We have to rock the Parisian nightlife together!  Yo, I can't wait...

2/25/07 01:30 pm - A dyke called "Masa" - that's my part

Our director gave me a part in the play that only had a couple of lines. Then she said that "You won't get off that easy" and that "You're going to give you more lines to speak, and the character remains in the scene the whole time" (she was supposed to leave in the beginning to have a smoke). 
So my character - she's a dike called "Masa". It's up to me to decide what kind she'll be - boyish, feminine, masculine...  stylish? 
And boy do I feel shallow and excited again.

2/8/07 02:31 pm - Shallow Joy, The best there is :)

The filming was scheduled for today. Although I've been suffering from a cold through the week, I decided to go ahead with it and participate, since I really REALLY wanted to see what real tv production is like. And let me tell you - even though my part as an extra consisted of only one activity (me having a drink with a dandy guy in the background) it made me feel euphoric. I want to do this for a profession so badly! It was so, so great! 
I'm in heaven... Hah, blonde heaven, where shallowness rules.

1/26/07 12:34 pm - An entry about acting.

Twenty-four days after my previous entry, I find that nothing has really happened. My life consists of getting to work, watching telly, chatting with Iris and working out. I took a test by the Finnish ministry of labour yesterday to try to figure out which profession would fit me. They suggested I become a movie producer. Funny, and my chances of pursuing that are...?

Actually, one of the highlight of this year has been my theater class. We've only had one class so far (this year), but the class was amazing. So emotional; we had to revise a monologue and try to practise on "being present" while performing to a crowd. It was a very sensible piece of text, dealing with cancer. I almost felt like crying... and so did the audience, my fellow classmates. The feeling after I'd done that was amazing, so liberating. It was then when I remembered why I'd started acting in the first place. 

So the class brought back the idea of maybe trying to pursue acting professionally... I know it's very uncertain that I'd be succesful in it, but if I don't give it a try I'll probably regret it forever. I was thinking I'd apply once more to the theater academy, seriously, and then seeing what happens. Last year, I chickened out and although I was called on to the auditions, I didn't go. This year... Maybe. But I am scared to death about failure - they'll probably laugh me out of the auditions. 

BUT something positive happened on Tuesday, concerning my acting... I was window-shopping for new design pottery, when my cell phone rang. I answered, and a woman's voice asked if it was Melina S****** on the phone (heh, they seemed to have lost the "D" in "Melinda" somewhere, typical). "Yes" was my answer, and then the woman introduced herself and asked whether or not I'd be still interested in being an extra at a TV drama. It probably isn't hard to figure out what my answer was, hehe. They got my contact information from the local TV network database of extras. Heh, the funny thing is I put my info there six years ago, so they must have seen an ANCIENT photo of me. But they called me, which is great. Now I get to see what a real TV production is like and drink a cup of coffee on the side (the scene is set in a café and I'm just going to be in the background having a cup of coffee), and - get paid to do that. 

So Hollywood, here I come. OK, maybe not, but it's going to be a really cool experience.

11/11/06 03:35 pm - Just go with the flow

Yeah yeah I know, it's been over a month, big deal. But honestly, nothing has happened. Or well, nothing spectacular.
We got some snow. Winter arrived. It's freezing. Wonderful.
Polytechnics - I got invited to the intake exams for business but couldn't go there, since on the day the exams were, there was the biggest snow storm in 10 years here. Technically, missing the exam would mean that I'd lose all my unemployment benefits until I turn 25, but as I called the Unemployment Office of my town and they pretty much said "OK, you don't lose your benefits since the weather clearly was an obstacle for you getting to Helsinki, you dumb cow."
So I'm still a puny salesclerk, but I got promoted last week, kind of. They're starting to train me into a substitute store administrator, I guess you could call it that. Sounds grand but in reality it's quite crappy - a little bit better than the job I have now, but better pay, of course (YES PLEASE!!).
I feel like I am a boring person these days, blah.
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